Keep your mind open, reserve judgement and change your life!

I like to swim in my spare time. I am lucky that there is an indoor pool at my apartment complex, particularly at this time of year when exercising outside is discouraging and the warmth of the indoors is a welcome change of scene.

Yesterday I arrived at the pool to find just one other person there. His name was Len, although I didn't know that at the time.

I'd seen Len before. He never swims, he simply 'bobs' around the pool whilst casting a beady eye on anything before him. Today his beady eye was on me.

When people stare it can be disconcerting, some would say even rude. I like to think people stare for a reason, that reason being they simply crave human connection. However, if you are having a bad day, feeling grumpy, or simply not receptive to changing your thinking, this concept can be hard to comprehend.

Len simply would not take his eyes off me while I sat in the hot tub and he 'bobbed' around in the pool. I would periodically go into the changing rooms to keep the sauna hot, so when I was ready to enter it, the perfect temperature welcomed me. Every time I made this journey to and from the sauna, Len's beady eyes would follow me. It was only when Len stopped 'bobbing' and left the pool that I felt relieved. However, my calling as a coach is to be curious about life and not simply judge. Why does Len stare? What's missing from Len's life?

It was time for my sauna, so I followed Len into the changing rooms. To my surprise, Len was stood in the sauna with the door wide open, getting changed, whilst simultaneously letting out all the heat I'd spent time generating. I kept calm and simply entered the sauna with him, staying curious and trying to reserve judgement.

I am convinced my frame of mind allowed Len to open up and say "I like to change in here because its warm". Len was an older gentleman and I understood. "Its OK" I said. Len then smiled at me and said "My name is Len, whats your name?". "I'm Matt" I replied, following up with "And I'm pleased to meet you".

What followed was a conversation that I enjoyed, and I felt Len welcomed. After he'd changed, and was about to leave, he said "It was lovely to meet you, Matt".

Len had changed my perspective of him and I'd given him what he needed, just for a few minutes, and that was time to be listened to, along with a warm place to change. In fact, during those few moments we'd both changed. Len literally, me spiritually.

When you break it down life is simple. We just make it hard on ourselves. Try to keep your mind open, reserve judgement and change your life - always! Let me know how that works out for you.

Warmly,

Matt Turner
Seeds Coaching