You are never too old to forgive yourself

I like to go swimming at the pool in my apartment complex.  The main purpose of this activity is to exercise and feel good.

However, while going about our daily routine, sometimes something magical happens when we least expect it.

I talked with a 71 year old woman at the pool today.  We'd spoken briefly before over the last few months.  Lately though we'd shared much about life and health.

Today she told me the story of her 46 year marriage to her husband.  It was a heartwarming tale of commitment, courage and tenacity.

She said the most important thing she'd learnt in life was forgiveness.  And in particular, forgiving yourself.

This had come to the fore recently for her as she remembered an old flame.  This guy was her first love, before she met her current husband.

She'd hurt him over 50 years ago and felt the time was right to tell him she was sorry.  She obviously still loved this man and understood how, rightly or wrongly, she'd passed him by.

He was married himself now.  This didn't stop her emailing him and telling him she was sorry.  Sorry for the way she'd treated him all those years ago.   This was also about forgiving herself and letting go of 50 years of regret.

He replied by forgiving her and paying her the biggest compliment he could.  In reference to the movie starring Bo Derek and Dudley Moore, he told her she was the only 10 he'd ever met.

Two folks, older now, but still bonded by forgiveness, respect, and most of all...love.

She finished our conversation by saying these words to me: "I never thought I'd tell anybody about this story, and you were the first to ever hear it.  I'd like to thank you for listening to me and letting me say it".

It was a pleasure.  A pleasure to simply give somebody some space they'd needed to express 50 years of forgiveness. It truly made her, and definitely my, day.

Today, I'd like us all to remember this:

Take some time to think about what you can forgive and move on from.  Then forgive somebody you need to, however long it's been waiting.

Best of luck!

 
Matt.
Seeds Coaching
Vancouver, BC.


Matt Turner is a life coach of creative, professional women in Vancouver, BC.  He is trained by The Coaches Training Institute and is an experience relationship counsellor.   He specialises working with women in career transition, relationship support for women and helps women run their own business.

Life coaching, career coaching or relationship coaching can happen effectively face to face, or over the phone. And technology allows coaching to happen over Skype at zero cost!

Make that call today!  Contact Matt for a free, no obligation coaching session and see how you can change your job, change your career and change your life!

Five new ways to make New Year's resolutions (or New Year's revolutions)

By now you've probably already made, and broken, several New Year's resolutions.  I'm guessing they are along the lines of "I'm never eating chocolate for as long as I live", or "I'm going to lose 50lbs by February".

There are many problems with resolutions like these.  First, they are unrealistic.  Second, they are shaming.

We make assumptions every New Year that we need fixing, that there is several things 'wrong' with us.  Then we proceed to scold ourselves and our inadequacies.  This isn't great for our self-esteem.

Last, we don't really have an intention to meet our perceived goal, and if we do, we go about it in the most extreme way.

For instance, our goal maybe to lose weight.  There are many ways to go about this.  Some are enjoyable (taking up dancing, going walking outdoors, having more sex).  Others aren't (lifting weights in the gym, starving yourself, denying yourself alcohol).

Even the word 'resolution' is daunting.  It means to be firm, full of resolve and determined.  Hardly fun, especially while nursing a New Year's hangover.

So, this year I'd like to help you all.  Here are five new ways to make New Year's resolutions.  In fact, I'm not going to call these 'resolutions' because, by their very nature, they are different, fun and radical.  With this in mind, I'll call them 'revolutions':

1. Choose more of what's working

Rather than look at what you want to change about yourself, or dislike about yourself, look at what's working for you.  Why was last year so good!?  What are you doing that's enjoyable, successful and fun?  When you've identified what these things are, simply look at how you can maximize them, do them more, and do them better!






2. Start a New Year's Revolution jar

Get a jar and put a label on it that says 'Why 2014 is great!'.  Whenever you do something special, have some success (no matter how small), get some luck, have fun, see something beautiful, smile, laugh, enjoy something or somebody, or see something funny, then simply jot it down on a scrap of paper, fold it up and place it in the jar.  When December 31st comes around, you'll have a whole heap of things that make you appreciate how awesome you and your life is!




3. Make a list of LESS and MORE

This is simple.  Make a list of things you want to do more of in 2014 and things you'd like to do less of.  Put this list in a prominent place.  Read it every day.  Do it every day!








4. Make goals that are fun! 

It's OK to want things in life.  More importantly, ask yourself this; why do I want them?  Set goals that mean something to you, but above all, that are FUN!  There's little point in doing something you don't love or enjoy.  After all, isn't this the meaning of life?



 
5. It's not Happy New Year, it's Happy New Day.

Let's face it,  New Year's Eve to New Year's Day is simply the transition of one day to another.  Nothing really changes significantly in this time.  Don't put pressure on yourself that everything must change in 24 hours.  Simply see your goals as 365 small steps.





Happy New Year to you all, and the very best of luck!

Warmly,

Matt.

Special offer for discounted life coaching!

Hello,

Seeds Coaching has great pleasure in announcing a very special offer!

For a limited time, you can purchase not one, not two, but THREE life coaching sessions for ONLY $29!

Specializing in helping creative, professional women find a career, start their own business or work on relationships, Matt Turner is a highly trained and experienced coach and mentor.

This offer represents a saving of over $392! That's a 92% discount!

Not only that, 20% of all proceeds will be donated to one of our favourite women's charities, Because I Am A Girl. 

Seeds Coaching is committed to helping women achieve their dreams, take their place in the world and promote gender equality.

Hurry, this offer is only for a very limited time! Vouchers for this offer are also limited. Take action and change your life today!

Purchase this offer by clicking this link: Seeds Coaching Special Offer!

Best regards,

Matt Turner

CEO Seeds Coaching

Frank Talk - Be More Childlike with Matt Turner 09/16 by Life CoachRadio Network | Spirituality Podcasts

Here is a recording of my recent radio show appearance on 'Frank Talk', hosted by David Frank Gomes.

'Frank Talk' is part of the Blog Talk Radio Network and covers topics that help us lead a meaningful life.

In this episode, I reflect and dissect my recent publication on the Tiny Buddha website (I wrote an article called 'Be More Childlike; Life Can Be Beautiful If You Let It').

You can hear the show here:

Frank Talk- Be More Childlike with Mat Turner 09/16 by Life Coach Radio Network | Spirituality Podcasts

You can read the original article that inspired the show, here:

Be More Childlike; Life Can Be Beautiful If You Let It