We can figure this out together

In times of struggle, when we find things hard, its easy to shut down and try to avoid what's hurting us.

One of the best ways to help ourselves is to talk.  Talking our issues over with somebody is a great way of processing our feelings and working toward a solution.

However, choosing the right person to talk to can be tricky.  A friend or family member may have our best interests at heart, but they can often be judgemental, take sides and try to solve our problems for us.

This rarely helps as most of us just need somebody to listen, show empathy and understand.  After that, we need somebody to offer support by gently inquiring about our feelings.  From there, we are able to find our own way in our own time.  This way is much more rewarding for us!

When it comes to relationships, all of the above is probably more pertinent than in many other situations.   This is where I can offer you something to help.

For a limited time, I am giving away the opportunity to talk.  The opportunity to talk with somebody who has your best interests at heart, won't judge you, will hold a comfortable space for you and will support you by listening to you and understanding how you feel.

All you have to do is click the link below to find out what the offer is.  

http://ethicaldeal.com/vancouver/deal/$29-for-three-1-hour-life-coaching-sessions-support-for-creative,-professional-women

I hope to connect with you real soon.

Warmly,

Matt.

10 Questions to Ask Yourself When Feeling Stuck in Your Career

Hello,

Do you feel stuck in your career?

Often when you feel stuck it's like going around in circles.  This is because we often ask ourselves negative statements rather than powerful questions. 

For example; I don't know what to do.  I'm not sure what my options are.  I don't feel I can make a change.  I'm not sure there's anything out there in my field.

This kind of thinking reinforces your feeling of being stuck and increases your chances of staying stuck. 

Working as a career counseller in Vancouver, I often meet clients who are experiencing this issue. 

One thing to remember is that your thoughts lead to feelings, which form beliefs that lead to behaviors that bring us certain outcomes. 

For example, you might think: "I'm not able to get a job in a higher paid position". 

This then makes you feel: "I'm not worthy of a better career.  I feel helpless and inadequate". 

This then forms a belief you actually AREN'T worthy or adequate, which in turn encourages you to act out the behviors of somebody who ISN'T worthy or adequate.

You see the pattern here?  Do you recognize it in yourself?

Here's a little trick to counter this kind of thinking and get unstuck. 

Instead of thinking negative statements, focus on asking yourself powerful questions.  Here are 10 powerful questions to ask yourself when feeling stuck in your career:

1. What do I want my career to be?
2. What's present now that's in the way?
3. What's in my control?
4. What changes can I make right away?
5. What's time critical about this change?
6. What support do you need to change?
7. What do I do well that's serving me?
8. What do I wish to be known for?
9. How do I get known for this?
10. How will I know I'm successful?

These questions are certainly not definitive by any means, and you can adapt or change them to suit your needs.

The point here is a shift in thinking.  Approaching the feeling of stuck with a different viewpoint. 

There is always a way out to something new.  The only thing in your way is yourself!

Good luck!

Matt.

Matt Turner is the owner of Seeds Coaching and Career Counselling Vancouver.

He is a Vancouver Life Coach for Professional Women and trained by The Coaches Training Institute.

He specializes working with women in career transition and helps women run their own business.

 

Life coaching, career coaching or relationship coaching can happen effectively face to face, or over the phone.  And technology allows coaching to happen over Skype at zero cost!   See how it works here.

Make that call today!  Contact Matt for a free, no obligation coaching session and see how you can change your job, change your career and change your life! 

See testimonials from women just like you by clicking here.

You are never too old to forgive yourself

I like to go swimming at the pool in my apartment complex.  The main purpose of this activity is to exercise and feel good.

However, while going about our daily routine, sometimes something magical happens when we least expect it.

I talked with a 71 year old woman at the pool today.  We'd spoken briefly before over the last few months.  Lately though we'd shared much about life and health.

Today she told me the story of her 46 year marriage to her husband.  It was a heartwarming tale of commitment, courage and tenacity.

She said the most important thing she'd learnt in life was forgiveness.  And in particular, forgiving yourself.

This had come to the fore recently for her as she remembered an old flame.  This guy was her first love, before she met her current husband.

She'd hurt him over 50 years ago and felt the time was right to tell him she was sorry.  She obviously still loved this man and understood how, rightly or wrongly, she'd passed him by.

He was married himself now.  This didn't stop her emailing him and telling him she was sorry.  Sorry for the way she'd treated him all those years ago.   This was also about forgiving herself and letting go of 50 years of regret.

He replied by forgiving her and paying her the biggest compliment he could.  In reference to the movie starring Bo Derek and Dudley Moore, he told her she was the only 10 he'd ever met.

Two folks, older now, but still bonded by forgiveness, respect, and most of all...love.

She finished our conversation by saying these words to me: "I never thought I'd tell anybody about this story, and you were the first to ever hear it.  I'd like to thank you for listening to me and letting me say it".

It was a pleasure.  A pleasure to simply give somebody some space they'd needed to express 50 years of forgiveness. It truly made her, and definitely my, day.

Today, I'd like us all to remember this:

Take some time to think about what you can forgive and move on from.  Then forgive somebody you need to, however long it's been waiting.

Best of luck!

 
Matt.
Seeds Coaching
Vancouver, BC.


Matt Turner is a life coach of creative, professional women in Vancouver, BC.  He is trained by The Coaches Training Institute and is an experience relationship counsellor.   He specialises working with women in career transition, relationship support for women and helps women run their own business.

Life coaching, career coaching or relationship coaching can happen effectively face to face, or over the phone. And technology allows coaching to happen over Skype at zero cost!

Make that call today!  Contact Matt for a free, no obligation coaching session and see how you can change your job, change your career and change your life!

Why do I need a life coach?

I'm often asked this question by people I meet.  The answer isn't straightforward.

If your life is going well, you feel in control and you couldn't really be happier, then the answer is you don't.

However, life sometimes isn't like that.  Human beings struggle regularly.  We struggle with finances, relationships, careers, families, children, emotions, our own internal thoughts and much, much more.  The list goes on!

The truth is that as human beings we aren't perfect.  We have strengths, we have weaknesses.  We have thoughts, we have beliefs.  We have habits, we have addictions.

So, how can a life coach help?

I work with professional women in Vancouver, BC and all around the world.  We have conversations that are different to everyday talk with our friends, families, co-worker and partners.

A life coach is trained to listen, really listen, to what you are both saying and what you are feeling.  A life coach is compassionate, understanding, supportive and creates a spaces where you can feel safe to express your true self in a confidential and liberating manner.

In addition, a good life coach will ask powerful, thought provoking questions at the right time.  This is a highly underrated skill, but what it does is transform people.  A life coach doesn't give advice, but allows a client to make their own discoveries by challenging them, their thinking and holding them accountable to their actions.

In truth, coaching is a highly skillful job that requires energy, intelligence, compassion and guts.

You might seek support through coaching for career advice, relationship counselling or help running your own business.  Many people find the relationship with their coach dynamic, exciting, different and empowering.

At the end of the day, we all need help and support.  The trick is to know that and accept it.  When somebody is ready to commit to change, then this sacred work called coaching can happen.

However, change is rarely overnight and can make you face your fears and vulnerabilities.  Be prepared to invest time into this process.  However, should you make the leap into hiring a coach, it could be the best thing you ever do!

Ultimately, you only get once shot at life.  Why not make it count?

I offer a free, no obligation life coaching session in order for you to see how it can change your life.

Contact me today, or forward this as a gift to a friend.  What really have you got to lose?

Warmly,

Matt.
Seeds Coaching
Vancouver, BC.


Matt Turner is a life coach of creative, professional women in Vancouver, BC.  He is trained by The Coaches Training Institute and is an experience relationship counsellor.   He specialises working with women in career transition, relationship support for women and helps women run their own business.

Life coaching, career coaching or relationship coaching can happen effectively face to face, or over the phone. And technology allows coaching to happen over Skype at zero cost!

Make that call today!  Contact Matt for a free, no obligation coaching session and see how you can change your job, change your career and change your life!

Five new ways to make New Year's resolutions (or New Year's revolutions)

By now you've probably already made, and broken, several New Year's resolutions.  I'm guessing they are along the lines of "I'm never eating chocolate for as long as I live", or "I'm going to lose 50lbs by February".

There are many problems with resolutions like these.  First, they are unrealistic.  Second, they are shaming.

We make assumptions every New Year that we need fixing, that there is several things 'wrong' with us.  Then we proceed to scold ourselves and our inadequacies.  This isn't great for our self-esteem.

Last, we don't really have an intention to meet our perceived goal, and if we do, we go about it in the most extreme way.

For instance, our goal maybe to lose weight.  There are many ways to go about this.  Some are enjoyable (taking up dancing, going walking outdoors, having more sex).  Others aren't (lifting weights in the gym, starving yourself, denying yourself alcohol).

Even the word 'resolution' is daunting.  It means to be firm, full of resolve and determined.  Hardly fun, especially while nursing a New Year's hangover.

So, this year I'd like to help you all.  Here are five new ways to make New Year's resolutions.  In fact, I'm not going to call these 'resolutions' because, by their very nature, they are different, fun and radical.  With this in mind, I'll call them 'revolutions':

1. Choose more of what's working

Rather than look at what you want to change about yourself, or dislike about yourself, look at what's working for you.  Why was last year so good!?  What are you doing that's enjoyable, successful and fun?  When you've identified what these things are, simply look at how you can maximize them, do them more, and do them better!






2. Start a New Year's Revolution jar

Get a jar and put a label on it that says 'Why 2014 is great!'.  Whenever you do something special, have some success (no matter how small), get some luck, have fun, see something beautiful, smile, laugh, enjoy something or somebody, or see something funny, then simply jot it down on a scrap of paper, fold it up and place it in the jar.  When December 31st comes around, you'll have a whole heap of things that make you appreciate how awesome you and your life is!




3. Make a list of LESS and MORE

This is simple.  Make a list of things you want to do more of in 2014 and things you'd like to do less of.  Put this list in a prominent place.  Read it every day.  Do it every day!








4. Make goals that are fun! 

It's OK to want things in life.  More importantly, ask yourself this; why do I want them?  Set goals that mean something to you, but above all, that are FUN!  There's little point in doing something you don't love or enjoy.  After all, isn't this the meaning of life?



 
5. It's not Happy New Year, it's Happy New Day.

Let's face it,  New Year's Eve to New Year's Day is simply the transition of one day to another.  Nothing really changes significantly in this time.  Don't put pressure on yourself that everything must change in 24 hours.  Simply see your goals as 365 small steps.





Happy New Year to you all, and the very best of luck!

Warmly,

Matt.

Christmas can really be for giving, and forgiving

 

This week I learnt the power of perspective.

I was blessed to received a couple of nice gifts for Christmas from my co-workers yesterday.  Two books I'd had on my Christmas list for a while now.  As a bonus, my boss also sent me a nice wine cork with a handle that resembled a bunch of grapes.  Very cute!

I live and work in Vancouver, so public transit is cool to use.  It's an outdoors kind of town, so everyone is running, cycling, or if like me you don't take exercise that seriously, taking the bus.

Anyway, I leave work with my lunch bag containing all my new shiny gifts.  I get on the next bus and travel into town to get my train connection.  It was only when I arrived downtown that I realised I'd left my lunch bag of gifts at the bus stop!

My initial reaction was one of despair.  An overreaction admittedly, but a reaction all the same.  My perspective was a feeling I'd let down the people who'd loving bought (and shipped) those gifts to me.  My next thought was 'how stupid could I be!'.  Both of these thoughts are neither useful or self-serving.

I called a co-worker to go check the bus stop to see if my gifts were still there.  They weren't.

When I got home I told my wife what had happened.  Turns out she'd had a far more eventful and important day than I'd had.  It also turned out that she'd actually bought me the very same books for Christmas!  So I'd lost and then gained in the space of 2 hours!

When the dust settled, I finally settled on a perspective I'd like to keep.  Its is one where I hold no grudge toward the person who took my gifts.  They now have two cool books to keep for themselves this Christmas, or to wrap and re-gift to someone else.  They may be less fortunate than  me and need to sell those books for food, which would be fine by me.

You see, giving doesn't have to be conventional.  It can be through a series of unfortunate events the universe throws your way.  Maybe I was meant to leave those gifts there? There is a theory that our lives are already mapped out for us from the moment we are born.  Maybe this minor event was always going to happen?

The lesson we can all take away is this; what perspective on giving can you see this Christmas?  There are many to choose from and we all have that choice.  Choice gives us freedom, shifts our state of mind and makes us feel the way we want to feel.

Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Warmly,

Matt.

It's useful to reflect on your life

A fascinating excercise!  What two words would you choose, and why? Share with your friends and see if they have something interesting.