One of the most common struggles my clients often face is the feeling of being 'stuck'. What is like to be stuck and what does being stuck actually mean?
Often, the feeling of being stuck can be traced back to a number of things. First, people tend to repeat the same patterns when trying to solve the same problems. If you've always done the the same thing, you'll generally get the same result. It's this revolving door of frustration and despair that can spiral somebody downward and leave them needing help.
Second, people lose confidence in themselves and their abilities. Confidence really is everything. As human beings, every single one of us has the capacity to choose how we feel and act. The confident ones among us choose positive action consistently, despite any setbacks. The less confident we are, the more prone we are to fear and avoiding any decision at all. Does the saying 'putting in your head in the sand' sound familiar? We all have a choice, and not making one is still a choice.
So how do we break the cycle and get unstuck? On a longer term basis, a great idea is to hire a life coach. At Seeds Coaching, I work with people who face this problem regularly. Its a human condition we should be aware of, and actively embrace.
In the short term, you can follow these five simple steps:
1. Ask yourself "Is what I am experiencing reality?"
Often we separate truth from reality and believe our own thoughts. After all, a thought is simply that - a thought. Its our perception and sometimes not real. So the next time you have a thought about
something, ask yourself if that thought is really true or is it simply perceived? Awareness is the first step to change.
2. What's a new perspective and how many can I think of?
Stepping back from an issue and trying to see it through a different lens can sometimes make all the difference. For instance, when somebody doesn't return an email you send out, what's your perspective? Naturally we think that person may be ignoring us. However, other perspectives might be that they are away on holiday, they no longer read that email account, they really want to reply and life has gotten in the way or they simply never received it in the first place! The list of perspectives for any given issue is endless! Which one is true?
3. Challenge all your assumptions!
When you make an assumption about something, question it. An assumption is simply that. Ask yourself, "what am I assuming?" and "why did I assume that?". By challenging our thoughts we begin to get clarity.
4. Be candid with people
Being candid doesn't mean you have to be rude! People are naturally afraid to speak the truth because of the consequences it can bear. However, by asking people outright what they really think of something you've been struggling with, you might just hear something that surprises you! So next time we feel somebody is acting out of whack, get curious about what the reasons could be, and just ask them!
5. Appreciate yourself
We rarely look for the goods things we do and achieve, however small. Just stopping and looking around your garden and appreciating where you live and what it took to get there can help. The daily grind of life encourages to do, and not be. By being more and doing less you'll begin to find happiness in the simple things right on your doorstep!
Matt Turner is a life coach, former school teacher, corporate trainer, school counsellor and stand up comedian. He specializes in career coaching and relationship coaching. Get in touch today for a free sample session and see how your life can change for the better!
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